Fuck, it’s psoriasis
История Кристины. В проекте использован авторский текст героини на английском языке.
STAND STILL. Everything happens for a reason. Just before psoriasis hit me, I really wanted my life to be changed and I really felt that I want something new. But how can my life change if I won’t change? Well, there you go! This amazing psoriasis has changed everything: my food habits, my attitude to problems, my relationshipwith people, my approach to medical treatment and I can keep on listing for ages. But there is something it didn’t change: my belief, that is can deal with anything.
FUCK, IT’S PSORIASIS. To be fair, I couldn’t believe my doc, when I heard: «Well, that’s a classic psoriasis.» How? Why? What to do? Is it forever? What’s the cure? Is it gonna get worse? — and hundred of questions more I wanted to ask and get the answers. From everyone. From anyone. But all I got: it’s in DNA, not curable, fuck knows why, fuck knows for how long, fuck knows what will help. Good that my university in 2006 gave me a great lesson: if you don’t know where exactly to find the information, search everywhere. And that was exactly what I did.
COVER. Isolation — is something very natural for those, whose skin is covered with red, flaky spots. Spots that are everywhere. You don’t want to be seen. You don’t want to be asked about it. And when someone notices your psoriasis, you just feel like a pimply teenager on the first date, when your polka dot face isbeing explored by the person sitting in front of you. So what you can do is cover. I personally don’t remember even a single day, when I was wearing a short sleeve top. Thanks God it all happened to me in winter, so I enjoyed the time of jeans and turtlenecks.
ACCEPTING PSORIASIS. I think this is the hardest part for the majority of people. Well, if this part even exists in their way ofdealing with psoriasis. The moment I left from my doc diagnosed with psoriasis, acceptance of it wassomething obvious. I mean saying to myself: yes, it’s a problem, but you’ll be fine, you can deal with it.And I know, that I had this attitude to the problem only thanks to my wonderful and 100% religiousauntie. So she taught me, that any illness that happens to us, is given by God to cure us. We have to bethankful to God for that. It’s like a little punishment for things we’ve done wrong. And instead ofpushing against it and saying: «I haven’t done anything wrong!» and play the victim role (I haven’t done anything bad to deserve it?!), we should think of what was wrong and how it can be changed. Weird (that’s what I thought in my childhood), but genius (that’s what I thought being a grownup) at the same time. Well, it is something, that worked for me.
ASK FOR HELP. Some say that our problems are only in our head. Nothing new, I know. Same with psoriasis. To get rid of it, first, I had to figure out what’s causes. Find it in my head. I have dealt with that myself. I was patiently going through all my feelings before and after psoriasis: what was bothering me and why it stopped bothering me when I got all wonderful red spots on my body. Basically searching for the reason: what has happened. I know now everybody can do it themselves. And that’s the moment when you have to ask someone to help you. Asking for help is normal. Living with the problem that’s bothering you — is not.
ASK FOR HELP. Some say that our problems are only in our head. Nothing new, I know. Same with psoriasis. To get rid of it, first, I had to figure out what’s causes. Find it in my head. I have dealt with that myself. I was patiently going through all my feelings before and after psoriasis: what was bothering me and why it stopped bothering me when I got all wonderful red spots on my body. Basically searching for the reason: what has happened. I know now everybody can do it themselves. And that’s the moment when you have to ask someone to help you. Asking for help is normal. Living with the problem that’s bothering you — is not.
BE LOVED BY PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT AFRAID OF DIFFICULTIES. There is one important thing every person should know. Love will save the world. One will say it sounds old fashioned, but I’ll say that if I didn’t feel how loved and cared I was that time and how all awful redspots really didn’t matter to my newly met boyfriend, I wouldn’t be able to cope with it that fast.
DANGER? I LAUGH TO THE FACE OF DANGER. BE POSITIVE. Life is here and now. And yes psoriasis is unbelievably disturbing shit. I’m sorry, but no other words could describe it. And there’s no way one can deal with it being negative. Nope. Won’t work. Honestly. I think if I were a sad person I’d still be closed in my room covered with psoriasis and itching like mad. Phew, this stage is done and dusted.